Without My Drumsticks: Walking for Citizen Jane at New York Fashion Week

I felt a little naked without my drumsticks. An interesting feeling to have while modeling clothes.

On September 9, 2021, I walked for Citizen Jane, DJ Citizen Jane’s debut clothing collection, at Sony Hall during Runway 7’s New York Fashion Week shows. The presentation introduced her Spring/Summer 2022 collection.^[1]

Pink cropped hoodie, lime-green trousers, platform boots. Color was clearly not feeling shy.

I, however, needed a moment.

A different kind of presence

I was used to expressing myself through sound and movement together. Behind my percussion setup, a gesture has somewhere to land. I strike, I hear, I respond. On the runway, the attention belonged to the clothing and how I carried it.

I knew exactly what to do with drumsticks. Suddenly, having empty hands felt like a technical problem.

There was a little vulnerability in that. I was an experienced performer entering an unfamiliar setting, with different expectations and another artist’s work to present. I felt exposed and curious, and I had to figure out what to do with all the energy I would usually send into an instrument.

So I explored what was still available: pace, posture, a turn, the rhythm of walking.

I couldn’t play, but I could give rhythm a visible form. How I moved changed how the clothing moved. The walk became its own kind of interpretation.

Wearing something of ourselves

As a queer woman, walking in a collection that made room for queer expression felt personal.

Clothing can give us a way to explore ourselves before we have found the words. A shape, a color or an unexpected combination can express something we recognize but cannot quite explain yet. There is pleasure in that, too. Sometimes you want to consider the relationship between identity and visibility. Sometimes you just really like the trousers.

That was part of what drew me to this experience: bringing my own presence into someone else’s creative vision.

Looking back at the photographs, I can see the concentration, and a few moments where I was still finding my footing, quite literally. I like keeping that part of the story. Being at home in one kind of performance does not mean every new stage will feel familiar right away.

From making music to wearing it

DJ Citizen Jane and I have also performed together, at Pride in Texas and at a Miami FC event, where I brought live percussion into the music.

The runway gave our collaboration a different form. This time, I was wearing her work and discovering how to carry it through movement.

What stayed with me was the experience of stepping outside a familiar role without leaving everything I knew behind. Timing, rhythm and physical expression still belonged there. I just had to find another way to use them.

And, occasionally, somewhere to put my hands. Thankfully, there were pockets.

Citizen Jane by DJ Citizen Jane · Runway 7 · Sony Hall, New York · September 9, 2021 · Spring/Summer 2022.